When someone asked our ministry host, Raul, how he was doing this was his response,”I am 100% happy and 100% sad.“ Being a Christian that lives in this present world, the truth of his answer stirred something deep in my heart. Those of us who know Jesus should have hope and joy like none other, yet at the same time we live in this fallen world with much brokenness.
Currently, I am on a bus with my team. We started early this morning around 5-am on our trek to Albania. We left from the capital city of Romania traveling into Bulgaria, then Macedonia, and will be getting to Albania sometime tonight. This day has been an absolute joy for Kel. I love being still when I get the chance too. I love car rides especially long ones. I love putting my headphones in and journaling. I love seeing and traveling through the beauty of God’s creation. However, my heart is presently heavy. I recently heard from various people who I love back home that are going through some really hard times. My heart truly breaks at the same time that it is filled with joy.
Have you ever felt surrounded by the happiest of things, yet completely broken on the inside?
With my previous job on the prayer line, I felt this all the time. Someone is always having their best day while another cannot imagine carrying on with another breath. It is a tough life that we live. When I would talk to people who had lost loved ones, who had been through tragedy, who were anxious and depressed.. the Lord so often reminded me of this verse:
Revelation 21:4 “And God shall wipe every tear form their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain: for the former things are passed away”.
I know it is easy to spat off scripture and overlook people’s hurt especially when we are not the ones who are hurting. But, the truth is God one day will restore and wipe away every tear. He hears our cries and comes so near to sit with our broken hearts. He has shown me time and time again that I cannot control or do much; but, I can cry out to Him with it all. I have seen and heard the transformation of Holy Spirit moving within the matter of minutes bringing peace in absolute despair. I have witnessed people standing and continuing on when they have absolutely no reason too. I will forever remember a broken man who had lost everything this world has to offer cry out, “but, I love my Savior.”
I hate brokenness; I hate loneliness; I hate sin. But, I love my Savior. He is our only Hope for tomorrow.
Friends, we are just passing through here.
On my best days, I pray for God to still break my heart for the many who are lost and dying around me. On my worst days, I pray for God to remind me to cling fast to the Hope we have only in Jesus.
John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
Lord, my heart is broken; thank you for the joy I still find in You. Jesus, thank You for being our Hope for tomorrow and every day to come. I pray and stand in the gap for every soul who is weary tonight, for every heart that is broken, for every thought seeming to not be able to carry on. Jesus, I pray for Your overwhelming peace. Thank You Lord for being close.
Your Beloved, kel
